The Cullen's Crazy Christmas
by snowbook22
Summary: It's that CRAZY time of the year again! Christmas! Merry Christmas Everyone! This is a random One-shot about the Cullen's Christmas! R&R plz! Before Bella's a You-know-what.


**(A/n: Wow! I managed to finish this one shot christmas story just in time! And on Christmas day! Yayz! Just a random funny humourous one shot from yours truly.)**

**Disclaimer:  
Roses are red  
Violets are blue  
****I Don't own Twilight  
So Please don't Sue.**

_Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!_

_**The Cullen's Crazy Christmas**_

This was the night before Christmas… All the Cullen's were outside hunting, Emmett and Bella were sitting near the Big Christmas tree, watching Christmas movies.

"Hey Bella… I was wondering…" Emmett started, "Why don't we watch The Christmas Carol?"  
"Yeah I think Edward said you could watch that movie." Bella muttered ejecting the night before Christmas from the DVD player, "This one's heaps boring!"

Emmett grinned happily when Bella wasn't looking, while she was putting the DVD in she said, "I'll go get some popcorn while the DVD loads," she sighed, she couldn't believe that she was stuck babysitting Emmett for 4 hours. In the kitchen she searched through the jammed cupboards, "I'm the only one who eats anyway!? Why is there so much food?!" Bella thought angrily pulling out a packet of Oreos and chucking it aside.

Suddenly…

"You boy! What day is it?" Bella heard someone say, "Why sir it's Christmas!" Bella frowned; she wasn't gone from the movie THAT long… She got up from her position on the floor and walked back to the lounge room, her mouth fell open in shock.

"Emmett… What the **HELL** did you do to the lounge room!?" Bella screamed frozen in the doorway looking at the cute little scenario.

Emmett was dressed up as **SCROOGE!** There was a random little boy dressed up in olden day clothes holding a turkey, and the whole lounge room was covered with **REAL** snow!

At vampire speed the little boy, the snow and Emmett's scrooge costume disappeared and Emmett stood there shiftily and suddenly mumbled, "What time is it?"

Bella jump up and yelled happily, "its summer time! It's our vacation! Hey Emmett lets watch high school musical!"

Emmett groaned, "Bella its Christmas! It's time to watch Christmas movies big and small!!"

"I'll tell Edward and Jasper you were trying to act out 'The Christmas Carol' while they were gone," Bella grinned evilly, making Emmett groan and surrender…

**-2 hours later-**

"Bella, we're Ho-me!" Alice sang looking around, but there was no sign of Bella… Or Emmett…

"Bella?" Edward called out, "Where are you?" No respond and no heart beat.

Emmett chose to appear at that second and Edward practically yelled at him, "Where is Bella Emmett if you took her to a nightclub I will definitely kill you!"

"Relax Edward Bella wanted to turn into a vampire so I just helped her!" Emmett grinned, Edward blew up.

"What? Don't tell me you've bitten her!" Edward screamed running around the room like a maniac not seeing Bella walk down the stairs with Zac Efron.

"Hey Edward! Meet my new lover! Mr. Efron!" Bella blushed hugging Zac and looking at him like he was the most precious thing alive.

Edward looked confused and turned to Emmett with a glare, "You did not!" Edward cried threateningly, "I had to! She was going to blackmail me if I didn't!" Emmett reasoned, "She just wants to see Zac Efron!"

"Shoo, Shoo!" Edward yelled at Zac, "Stop trying to steal my fiancé away with your boyish charms!"

"Hey… She clearly wants me! I like brunettes and clearly I find Bella beautiful." Zac grinned… Was he provoking Edward?

"You… Bastard!" Edward screamed in anger, "Bella get over here! Emmett what was that about Bella being a vampire, its just Zac Efron!?" Edward yanked Bella by the arm gently. Zac laughed Bella held on to Zac tighter, "Where the hell is Alice when you need her!?" Edward cursed and Emmett started ranting about how Zac loves a certain book called Twilight which was about a _certain_ vampire falling in love with a human.

Alice came back from whatever she was doing in her room cried, "Bella let's have a make over!" Bella tensed and clung on to Zac for dear life from 2 vampires trying to pull her off, one being her fiancé.

Rosalie came back from hunting and yelled to Bella, "Okay I've had enough of that truck of yours Bella! We're going into town and buying you a black Porsche!" Rosalie yelled pulling Bella by the leg because of Alice and Edward at her arms.

Now there were 3 vampires pulling one human away from the other human and 1 other vampire babbling about a romance novel.

This was one heck of a Christmas Eve.

**-Christmas morning-**

"I hate you Edward!" Bella huffed crossing her arms pouting, "Why did you kick Zac Efron out when I was sleeping!?"

"Bella it's for the best…" Edward tried to reason, "Jasper might have lost control during the night."

"What? We you might as well kicked me out as well! I'm human too!" Bella retorted back. "Yeah… But Jaspers use to your scent!" Edward tried.

"No I'm not! You are just Lucky my control got better that's all!" Jasper called laughing at the pitiful attempts Edward was trying.

Bella pouted again and got up from the couch running around the house screaming, "Zac? Where are you? No!! You bit him didn't you!? You monster now he is a vampire too!!"

"Bella will you calm down it's Christmas! A time where celebrities don't matter! Now get up there to Edward or else I'll bite you!" Rosalie yelled dragging Bella to the couch.

"No! I want to be bitten!" Bella kicked and screamed

When suddenly…

"Everybody dance now!" Emmett jumped out from behind a curtain. Emmett started dancing and yelled, "It's the time of year again! The star of Christmas is here! Please save your applause for after the show!"

"Emmy?" Bella asked looking at Emmett with puppy eyes, "Emmy what were you doing behind a curtain?"

"Emmy?! **EMMY!?!?** What the hell did you feed her Emmett! For one night! **FOR ONE NIGHT!**" Edward yelled, Bella was mumbling to Rosalie that if he didn't stop having panic attacks he would start to lose his hair.

"Oh Eddy don't worry Bella's not here for you." Bella said smiling and walked off to find her beloved Zac Efron, "Oh and I had sugar and coffee for dinner Eddy teddy."

"Please Bella… Please do NOT call me Eddy or Eddy Teddy! Edward sighed shaking his head warily, "And please do excuse me as I kill Emmett... Again."

Carlisle walked into the lounge room frowning and asked, "Who broke Esme's Chinese antique 1 million dollar vase?"

**-Dun, Dun, DUN-**

"Don't worry Mr. Cullen Secret agent Bella Swan will help in your search to find… **THE CULPRIT**." Bella ran in from the back door holding a water gun and dressed in a long coat with a detective hat on, posing, "I'll interview everyone and see if there are witnesses and evidence, I'll report in at the end of the day." She nodded.

**-End of the day-**

"Mr. Cullen!" Bella popped up from nowhere in front of Carlisle's face making Carlisle jump and grab his heart from instinct, "I found out that Jasper tackled Emmett which cause Edward to join in which cause Rosalie to join in and all this random crap happened and Esme's vase broke! Do you understand?!" She shook him.

"Bella please I told you to call me Carlisle and second don't scare me like that and third I understand…" Carlisle breathed but Bella wasn't listening the whole family had formed a big argument about the vase and Emmett and Jasper were wrestling yet again.

This was of course… **Just A Normal Christmas.**

**Review please! And once again! Merry... Boxing day? NOOOOOO!!! I didn't make it? Nah joking! Merry Christmas!**


End file.
